After going to my rheumatologist for so many years, I have been able to familiarize myself with her staff. On this particular visit, I noticed that there was a new attending nurse, and as I walked past a computer, the screensaver was the picture of the previous nurse. When Dr. Taylor came into my room I asked her what happened to the previous young lady. She said that she had died of a seizure in her sleep. Dr. Taylor further explained that the young woman had gotten a seizure in the past but just dismissed it and never got tested or medication. She left behind a baby boy and husband. Dr. Taylor was sad and told me she attended the funeral. The young nurse will be missed but ironically after the funeral work went on as usual with a temp quickly filling her position.
The sad true fact is that everyone is replaceable at least in the business world. During my first major flare of Lupus four years ago I learned that simple fact the hard way. As much as I worked above and beyond and was on-call 24/7 for my prior boss in the end it didn't matter because all though the work stress induced my symptoms, my boss never acknowledged me ever again. All the pain, sweat, and sacrifices I did for the her and her company didn't matter because even though it helped my disease flare up for the first time I was quickly replaced and never received a get well card or a phone call from my boss. Forever since then I realized that only those that truely love you and are dear to you will miss you when you are gone. Most workaholics don't acknowledge this fact and work and work devoting themselves to a machine in which the only benefit is a paycheck, because in the end the owners or business leaders are the ones that benefit from the profits.
There are those that love their job and they may be the exception, but in the end they are replaceable as well. I recently flared and had to take a leave of abscence to take care of myself. I know now that my health comes first and if don't take care of myself no one else will and even though my supervisors were upset they will not understand how it is to live with Lupus until they step in my shoes and maintaining a corporate job in which I have already been replaced is not my priority.
Even though the job market is tough out there, my rundown is that if I keep working when my body is flaring and inducing my stress I will only get worse and might cause my Lupus to attack other parts of my body. I'm an independent go-getter but not I've learned that sometimes success isn't measured by materialistic items and in my case its I am able to defeat this disease and all of its symptoms.
