After going to my rheumatologist for so many years, I have been able to familiarize myself with her staff. On this particular visit, I noticed that there was a new attending nurse, and as I walked past a computer, the screensaver was the picture of the previous nurse. When Dr. Taylor came into my room I asked her what happened to the previous young lady. She said that she had died of a seizure in her sleep. Dr. Taylor further explained that the young woman had gotten a seizure in the past but just dismissed it and never got tested or medication. She left behind a baby boy and husband. Dr. Taylor was sad and told me she attended the funeral. The young nurse will be missed but ironically after the funeral work went on as usual with a temp quickly filling her position.
The sad true fact is that everyone is replaceable at least in the business world. During my first major flare of Lupus four years ago I learned that simple fact the hard way. As much as I worked above and beyond and was on-call 24/7 for my prior boss in the end it didn't matter because all though the work stress induced my symptoms, my boss never acknowledged me ever again. All the pain, sweat, and sacrifices I did for the her and her company didn't matter because even though it helped my disease flare up for the first time I was quickly replaced and never received a get well card or a phone call from my boss. Forever since then I realized that only those that truely love you and are dear to you will miss you when you are gone. Most workaholics don't acknowledge this fact and work and work devoting themselves to a machine in which the only benefit is a paycheck, because in the end the owners or business leaders are the ones that benefit from the profits.
There are those that love their job and they may be the exception, but in the end they are replaceable as well. I recently flared and had to take a leave of abscence to take care of myself. I know now that my health comes first and if don't take care of myself no one else will and even though my supervisors were upset they will not understand how it is to live with Lupus until they step in my shoes and maintaining a corporate job in which I have already been replaced is not my priority.
Even though the job market is tough out there, my rundown is that if I keep working when my body is flaring and inducing my stress I will only get worse and might cause my Lupus to attack other parts of my body. I'm an independent go-getter but not I've learned that sometimes success isn't measured by materialistic items and in my case its I am able to defeat this disease and all of its symptoms.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Saturday, September 4, 2010
All you need is love....
Watching the the palm trees sway in the calm breeze out of the window, I was reminded of Kauai. As I looked around the Tommy Bahama’s restaurant I got a sense of relaxation. It gave me a nostalgic feeling of being carefree that I felt every time I was in the Hawaiian paradise. Almost enthralled in the feeling, I almost forgot that I was far away from paradise, but instead in Las Vegas in 108 degree weather. As I continued to enjoy the chill mode, I sat and listened to my friend describe her unhappy marriage. Nodding in disbelief, I suddenly remembered that only two years ago I was in Hawaii for her wedding and now ironically she was talking about divorce. After hearing her story of how issues that existed in the beginning are now worse with no compromise from her husband, my mind came to a halt when she asked, “What do you think?”
I was caught off guard, but I started to try to give her a rational point of view. She had tried everything and had sacrificed her life for the past two years without any reciprocation. I told her to do whatever makes her happy and brings her out of her depression. Coming to realize that giving advice to a married woman can be detrimental to the friendship, I gave her a disclaimer. I told her that I have experienced all aspects of life and hit rock bottom many times, so to me happiness is key and following my heart and soul is important. Despite all of my issues especially physically, I awake every morning excited about what the day will bring. I feel a sense of happiness in my life, despite the pain and fatigue, because life always throws unexpected turns. Even though I did yearn for a partner I did not regret any past love decisions, so if she was going to make a decision such as divorce she had to do what was in the best interest of her and forgiver herself along the way.
I was somewhat humbled that she would want my opinion, but she did want a rational opinion, so I tried to giver her one. She was torn between two paths and sometimes that feeling is horrible, because choosing a path is part of the process, so sometimes tearing yourself from bad habits which could be relationships can be difficult. "But I fucken love him!" Well in the aspect of love I feel that your partner should bring out the best in you, not pain and sorrow. It is in these cases that I find it hard to understand why people torture themselves. For a Lupi like me feeling physical pain is tormenting enough, so the simplicity of saying no to negative relationships comes a little easier, yet life is not always cut and dry so sometimes saying no isn't an easy act to do and I know that first hand as well.
In an effort to bring my ideas into perspective, I started to tell her about one my lost loves. A good guy, but on a quest to pursue his dream and find himself. Even though he wanted to have me as his wife he was not willing to include me in his dream or life plans. I loved him still, but I did not want to come in the way of any one's dream. When someone is trying to find himself they need their space, so as much as this guy wanted me there, I felt it was enabling, especially since I had to sacrifice my life to follow him as he pursued his dream. Besides these flaws he of course could not communicate so following a mute is definitely not something I envision for myself. At 30 and as a learned person I had to bid him farewell as he began his journey even though it caused heartache.
As the memories of lost loves started to come to the surface, I remembered the most recent lost love. Although I really liked him because he was a good guy with great qualities, his selfishness was definitely a turn-off. I was attracted to his eccentricity and intelligence, but his anti-social behavior and his love for the Maryjane left no room for me. His reluctance to compromise was something I had no interest in dealing with. It is bad enough that I have issues, I have to compromise with in my body, that dealing with someone that refuses to let his guard down and let me into his heart is definitely a battle I refuse to fight. Even though I was a bit torn, I had to just say no.
In the end the facts are that finding someone is not difficult, but finding that person that will let you into their heart and include you in all aspects of his life is key. For my friend even though she was married, her life was parallel to her husband's with no middle ground. He was not interested in participating in any activities that included her tastes or passions and she was not happy. I was saddened since I was there when they vowed to each other, but I think she was carrying the marriage on her own and that burden is much to bear. I believe that it is okay to say no to situations that bring out the worst in you no matter what they are. I believe life is great and blissful with so much to offer. We must do the most we can with what we are given because when life is over there aren't any do-overs.
I was caught off guard, but I started to try to give her a rational point of view. She had tried everything and had sacrificed her life for the past two years without any reciprocation. I told her to do whatever makes her happy and brings her out of her depression. Coming to realize that giving advice to a married woman can be detrimental to the friendship, I gave her a disclaimer. I told her that I have experienced all aspects of life and hit rock bottom many times, so to me happiness is key and following my heart and soul is important. Despite all of my issues especially physically, I awake every morning excited about what the day will bring. I feel a sense of happiness in my life, despite the pain and fatigue, because life always throws unexpected turns. Even though I did yearn for a partner I did not regret any past love decisions, so if she was going to make a decision such as divorce she had to do what was in the best interest of her and forgiver herself along the way.
I was somewhat humbled that she would want my opinion, but she did want a rational opinion, so I tried to giver her one. She was torn between two paths and sometimes that feeling is horrible, because choosing a path is part of the process, so sometimes tearing yourself from bad habits which could be relationships can be difficult. "But I fucken love him!" Well in the aspect of love I feel that your partner should bring out the best in you, not pain and sorrow. It is in these cases that I find it hard to understand why people torture themselves. For a Lupi like me feeling physical pain is tormenting enough, so the simplicity of saying no to negative relationships comes a little easier, yet life is not always cut and dry so sometimes saying no isn't an easy act to do and I know that first hand as well.
In an effort to bring my ideas into perspective, I started to tell her about one my lost loves. A good guy, but on a quest to pursue his dream and find himself. Even though he wanted to have me as his wife he was not willing to include me in his dream or life plans. I loved him still, but I did not want to come in the way of any one's dream. When someone is trying to find himself they need their space, so as much as this guy wanted me there, I felt it was enabling, especially since I had to sacrifice my life to follow him as he pursued his dream. Besides these flaws he of course could not communicate so following a mute is definitely not something I envision for myself. At 30 and as a learned person I had to bid him farewell as he began his journey even though it caused heartache.
As the memories of lost loves started to come to the surface, I remembered the most recent lost love. Although I really liked him because he was a good guy with great qualities, his selfishness was definitely a turn-off. I was attracted to his eccentricity and intelligence, but his anti-social behavior and his love for the Maryjane left no room for me. His reluctance to compromise was something I had no interest in dealing with. It is bad enough that I have issues, I have to compromise with in my body, that dealing with someone that refuses to let his guard down and let me into his heart is definitely a battle I refuse to fight. Even though I was a bit torn, I had to just say no.
In the end the facts are that finding someone is not difficult, but finding that person that will let you into their heart and include you in all aspects of his life is key. For my friend even though she was married, her life was parallel to her husband's with no middle ground. He was not interested in participating in any activities that included her tastes or passions and she was not happy. I was saddened since I was there when they vowed to each other, but I think she was carrying the marriage on her own and that burden is much to bear. I believe that it is okay to say no to situations that bring out the worst in you no matter what they are. I believe life is great and blissful with so much to offer. We must do the most we can with what we are given because when life is over there aren't any do-overs.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Erica
Pale skin, short hair, and modelesque fashion sense, characterized the most free-spirited person I had met when I was 24 years old. I always looked at her with awe, since she was so opposite of me at the time. Even though she is no longer roaming the planet, her memory always stays with me. In those days I was the complete opposite of free spirited. I had a stable job as supervisor of a dental office, a boyfriend, a steady social life, but in retrospect my life was pretty bland. I was so focused on the finances and career that I forgot about the happiness and fun in life. Even my appearance was pretty bland. I wore blues and greys, didn't wear make-up only when I went out, was frugal with my accessories and my hair. Even though to some this might not seem as a big deal, but my persona inside was quite contrary. As the eldest child, I have always been responsible and a conservative thinker when it came to finances and risks. I never even conceived of changing my thinking or lead a life like Erica. At 20 years old, one day she was modeling, the next day she was a receptionist and she always had an idea for her next move. Even after she passed away we learned that she had just enlisted in the Navy about a month earlier. Even though that was an extreme life style, she was very happy with life and lived every moment according to her terms.
Putting it all in retrospect it all came down to one question she asked me in 2003, before she died that provided for that pivotal moment for me to question the way I was living my life at the time. My boyfriend at the time was always working late hours and we had been together for 5 years. One night while hanging out with my brother and Erica, she asked me, "Where is your boyfriend?" I answered, "At work." Then Erica responded, "then why are you with him, you should leave him." At the time I was a little confused, since I loved him and never thought about breaking up with him. I thought to myself, how easy to say that. We had been together for so many years and there was much invested in our relationship that I didn't think of leaving him. But what I didn't know then which I know now is that life is really that simple. It wasn't until Erica passed away and other life changing events that followed, that I realized that happiness should play an important role in your decision making. Because the truth was that I really wasn't happy at the time, just content.
I will never forget Erica. She gave me that fundamental question that is indeed so simple and true. I have some friends that are in relationships, careers, living circumstances that are not working for them, but yet they stay "there". I understand, because I too was "there" at one point in time, but I learned to do as I want versus do as others think or live life to please others. I now live life to please myself and then take the ideas of others (important to me) into consideration. This might sound selfish, but I think everyone with a goal or a need should do things for themselves one way or another. Although there are extremes in anything, it is not good to take advantage of others, but turning away those opportunities that don't benefit you is what makes this idea simple.
Life has thrown me several curve balls, but this idea has made it easier to come out of the hole when I hit rock bottom. At the end of the day it is what works for me and what I want out of life. What I do want is to laugh, enjoy and share my life with others. Now, after living with Lupus for 3 1/2 years I have really learned to appreciate this idea, because during the tough times, it helps simplify my decisions. I have so many limitations that I didn't have at 24 years old, but I do and enjoy so much more. My rundown is that you should find what works for you and you should do it. What others say or think could be taken into consideration, but in the end of it all you have the right to live life on your terms, because sometimes by worrying about others and your surroundings will prevent you from taking the risk to do what you want. And that will make things all too unnecessarily complicated.
Putting it all in retrospect it all came down to one question she asked me in 2003, before she died that provided for that pivotal moment for me to question the way I was living my life at the time. My boyfriend at the time was always working late hours and we had been together for 5 years. One night while hanging out with my brother and Erica, she asked me, "Where is your boyfriend?" I answered, "At work." Then Erica responded, "then why are you with him, you should leave him." At the time I was a little confused, since I loved him and never thought about breaking up with him. I thought to myself, how easy to say that. We had been together for so many years and there was much invested in our relationship that I didn't think of leaving him. But what I didn't know then which I know now is that life is really that simple. It wasn't until Erica passed away and other life changing events that followed, that I realized that happiness should play an important role in your decision making. Because the truth was that I really wasn't happy at the time, just content.
I will never forget Erica. She gave me that fundamental question that is indeed so simple and true. I have some friends that are in relationships, careers, living circumstances that are not working for them, but yet they stay "there". I understand, because I too was "there" at one point in time, but I learned to do as I want versus do as others think or live life to please others. I now live life to please myself and then take the ideas of others (important to me) into consideration. This might sound selfish, but I think everyone with a goal or a need should do things for themselves one way or another. Although there are extremes in anything, it is not good to take advantage of others, but turning away those opportunities that don't benefit you is what makes this idea simple.
Life has thrown me several curve balls, but this idea has made it easier to come out of the hole when I hit rock bottom. At the end of the day it is what works for me and what I want out of life. What I do want is to laugh, enjoy and share my life with others. Now, after living with Lupus for 3 1/2 years I have really learned to appreciate this idea, because during the tough times, it helps simplify my decisions. I have so many limitations that I didn't have at 24 years old, but I do and enjoy so much more. My rundown is that you should find what works for you and you should do it. What others say or think could be taken into consideration, but in the end of it all you have the right to live life on your terms, because sometimes by worrying about others and your surroundings will prevent you from taking the risk to do what you want. And that will make things all too unnecessarily complicated.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Love Everlasting
An ailing husband with lung cancer that has mestisized throughout his entire body lays in bed coughing as if his entire insides are going to be expunged. At his bedside his wife, which not only takes care of him, but also has to watch him die a slow miserable death. There were many happy times in their marriage, but before he got this bad, he made her promise that she would not let him loose his dignity. Now at his bedside, she remembered this after the coughing echoed in her head. She sadly started to inject him with morphine, until he overdosed and died. This was the scene from one of the recent episodes of "Mujeres Assesinas". Sadly, she was eventually accused of murder.
Earlier that day before I sat to watch this episode. I was discussing the similar situation with my friend. Her friend had just passed away from cancer, but her husband seemed like he had been waiting for it for weeks, so to outsiders he seemed insensitive about her death and relieved. But how does a husband or wife deal with their spouse dying? Having a chronic illness myself, it sometimes is hard to bring my problem into another person's life. I feel that they have to accept me as a package, because there will be moments where the road will get tough to deal with, but like most adults I would like to make an attempt to live a so called "normal" life, so I think that mutual love will make things easier and tolerable.
I learned this from watching my grandparents as a child. The last memories I have of my grandpa is of him paralyzed from the right side and my grandma taking care of his every need. Since the day he decided to court her to the day she had to help him shave they loved each other immensely. He was paralyzed for many years and when my grandpa eventually passed away, it was tough on my grandma, but I know she did the best she could for him. At 10 years old I actually understood this and I always admired the way my grandma spoke to him and handled him with care. Their love was of the old fashioned kind and my grandma was a very caring woman. 20 years later, my grandma lives without my grandpa, but I know that she has never forgotten their love.
This is the type of love that is everlasting, so that is why I take the institution of marriage very seriously, because it will get tested along the way. As a Lupus patient, I know that my life can be overwhelming because of my everyday issues and so I believe that my partner will have to have the same strength as I have, to deal with me everyday. This is much to ask from someone, but it is reality. Like the woman in Mujeres Assesinas, love will be tested in one form or the other. Yet, I can not judge her because I don't know how I will react when I'm put in that situation. So my Rundown is that sometimes before diving into marriage we need to take a step back and evaluate the whole picture, because it is a very important decision that will follow you for the rest of your life.
Earlier that day before I sat to watch this episode. I was discussing the similar situation with my friend. Her friend had just passed away from cancer, but her husband seemed like he had been waiting for it for weeks, so to outsiders he seemed insensitive about her death and relieved. But how does a husband or wife deal with their spouse dying? Having a chronic illness myself, it sometimes is hard to bring my problem into another person's life. I feel that they have to accept me as a package, because there will be moments where the road will get tough to deal with, but like most adults I would like to make an attempt to live a so called "normal" life, so I think that mutual love will make things easier and tolerable.
I learned this from watching my grandparents as a child. The last memories I have of my grandpa is of him paralyzed from the right side and my grandma taking care of his every need. Since the day he decided to court her to the day she had to help him shave they loved each other immensely. He was paralyzed for many years and when my grandpa eventually passed away, it was tough on my grandma, but I know she did the best she could for him. At 10 years old I actually understood this and I always admired the way my grandma spoke to him and handled him with care. Their love was of the old fashioned kind and my grandma was a very caring woman. 20 years later, my grandma lives without my grandpa, but I know that she has never forgotten their love.
This is the type of love that is everlasting, so that is why I take the institution of marriage very seriously, because it will get tested along the way. As a Lupus patient, I know that my life can be overwhelming because of my everyday issues and so I believe that my partner will have to have the same strength as I have, to deal with me everyday. This is much to ask from someone, but it is reality. Like the woman in Mujeres Assesinas, love will be tested in one form or the other. Yet, I can not judge her because I don't know how I will react when I'm put in that situation. So my Rundown is that sometimes before diving into marriage we need to take a step back and evaluate the whole picture, because it is a very important decision that will follow you for the rest of your life.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Mr. Nice Guy
As I walked into the hot steamy club at Nationals Sports Bar, I realized it had been awhile since I had been in this type of scene in the South Bay and I definitely felt under dressed, but then again not really. I was awed at how they converted this sports bar into a crazy 18 and over night club. I know this might sound pompous, but as I looked around the place it seemed a little ghetto and I knew this place was going to be a hilarious experience. Tailgating since 9am in the morning, now 11pm my legs and I were pooped and weak. I let my friend drag me here because it was her birthday and since she's a Mom she doesn't get out much, so I had to remind myself why I was here quite a few times. She wanted to come to this particular club because my her husband's friends and brother, "Mr. Nice guy", were going to be here. She previously had told me about Mr. Nice Guy and how it would be nice if we would hang out and it was then that I knew she was playing matchmaker. Sometimes married couples feel that two nice people should belong together and although it might be true, I believe that being a friend with someone and dating them are sometimes two very different things, and that's why I'm not too open to the matchmaking experience, but in this case since it was her birthday I didn't want to say anything just yet and tried having an open mind about the situation. Especially since I knew that they had definitely discussed me with him as well. At least the guy was cutesy and in his mid-thirties, but I later learned these were the only two good qualities.
Almost immediately, I was approached by a gangster type guy and so I went with the flow and let him "rap" to me so I wouldn't create an enemy so early in the night. I thought he was pretty hilarious and so I wouldn't hurt his feelings I took his number, but of course did not save it. The cherry on top came when he made the finger phone to his ear and mouth and told me to call him with a wink. I wanted to laugh so hard, because I had just met "the smooth operator".
When we finally found the husband's friends I noticed that they were lined up against a rail, watching the young girls dance, which is pretty typical at a club, but I was surprised when Mr. Nice Guy didn't approach me to say hello, especially since he wanted to "hang out with me and get to know me". I just smiled and said to myself "strike one". I would never want to hang out with someone that's not into me.
Since I would be driving myself home I decided not to drink but by this time I needed a drink really bad. I headed to the bar and bought my friend and I a drink. When we returned I finally said hello to Mr. Nice Guy. Afterwards my friend's husband and Mr. Nice Guy left to the bar and came back with three drinks. Apparently Mr. Nice Guy bought a round of drinks but forgot about me and the only reason I realized this was because he said, "Oh I forgot you were there..." I wanted to laugh so hard. Not only did he forget the girl that he was trying to hook up with, but then didn't have the common sense to keep that fact to himself. I knew then why this guy ended up with the wrong ladies and how he was definitely seeing the world through tunnel vision, "Strike two". The "idiot" type of guy is definitely not my type. The matchmaking experience didn't get any better, he then returned to the rail to watch the slutty dance of the young girls. I just chuckled inside, when some young girl started to freak him, while he just stood there on the rail. He didn't try to do small talk, ask me to dance, or even look my way, and well folks that would be "strike three".
The music at the club was not that great and I was asked to dance by someone in Mr. Nice Guy's group, since I was talking to my friend I told the guy, a.k.a. Sober, "maybe later". The then managed to pull me to the dance floor, in order to avoid further embarrassment I just danced. Sober, was clueless as to why I didn't want to dance with him, since he was not drunk or doesn't drink at all, he didn't understand why I was not interested in him. I was amazed at his feeling of entitlement that he was at an advantage to be liked and accepted because he didn't consume alcohol. I understood the logic in a club, but by no means does this give him the right to pull me by the arm and snatch my purse from the other. As much as a tough girl as I am I was a little freaked, because I had just met this guy.
I couldn't believe how clueless these Sober and Mr. Nice Guy were or was it that I'm used to hanging around places where guys aren't so aggressive and women don't have to beg for attention. Either way I reminded myself that I was here for my friend and took a deep breath.
Finally the end came and my friend was ready to leave. On our way out, Mr. Nice Guy gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I smiled nervously because I definitely didn't know where that came from. He then told me that he wanted to hang out with me and that I shouldn't be so quiet. I said "Yeah sure lets definitely hang out sometime..." At that point I knew that to go on a date with this guy would definitely be stooping really low. I rather go to dinner with myself. I don't know if he was an idiot or just not into me or both.
I always wondered why "Nice" guys ended up getting their hearts broken or why they were involved in bad relationships with bitches, but after meeting one of these "nice" guys and I now understand why they are either single or date the wrong women. Mr. Nice Guy might be an awesome nice guy, but when it comes to women he does not know how to play his cards right and if he ever wants to date a decent mature woman he will have to learn somehow, but lucky for him I've given up my teacher role.
My rundown is that married couples sometimes have a different perspective on life, because unlike us single people, they have found what they are looking for. Even though married couples have the best intentions in mind and they want others to find the same, sometimes two single nice people just don't belong together because they are just not each others type. I'm in my Thirties, so I pretty much know what I want and don't want in a relationship, because I've been there and done all of that, so I don't deal with BS. That could be the reason why I'm single, but I am determined to find true love. Some might call me a dreamer, but I know its out there and wasting my time with supposedly nice guys which are clueless about dating or pursuing women is not an option for me. Nice guys are great and awesome, but not all of them are datable.
Almost immediately, I was approached by a gangster type guy and so I went with the flow and let him "rap" to me so I wouldn't create an enemy so early in the night. I thought he was pretty hilarious and so I wouldn't hurt his feelings I took his number, but of course did not save it. The cherry on top came when he made the finger phone to his ear and mouth and told me to call him with a wink. I wanted to laugh so hard, because I had just met "the smooth operator".
When we finally found the husband's friends I noticed that they were lined up against a rail, watching the young girls dance, which is pretty typical at a club, but I was surprised when Mr. Nice Guy didn't approach me to say hello, especially since he wanted to "hang out with me and get to know me". I just smiled and said to myself "strike one". I would never want to hang out with someone that's not into me.
Since I would be driving myself home I decided not to drink but by this time I needed a drink really bad. I headed to the bar and bought my friend and I a drink. When we returned I finally said hello to Mr. Nice Guy. Afterwards my friend's husband and Mr. Nice Guy left to the bar and came back with three drinks. Apparently Mr. Nice Guy bought a round of drinks but forgot about me and the only reason I realized this was because he said, "Oh I forgot you were there..." I wanted to laugh so hard. Not only did he forget the girl that he was trying to hook up with, but then didn't have the common sense to keep that fact to himself. I knew then why this guy ended up with the wrong ladies and how he was definitely seeing the world through tunnel vision, "Strike two". The "idiot" type of guy is definitely not my type. The matchmaking experience didn't get any better, he then returned to the rail to watch the slutty dance of the young girls. I just chuckled inside, when some young girl started to freak him, while he just stood there on the rail. He didn't try to do small talk, ask me to dance, or even look my way, and well folks that would be "strike three".
The music at the club was not that great and I was asked to dance by someone in Mr. Nice Guy's group, since I was talking to my friend I told the guy, a.k.a. Sober, "maybe later". The then managed to pull me to the dance floor, in order to avoid further embarrassment I just danced. Sober, was clueless as to why I didn't want to dance with him, since he was not drunk or doesn't drink at all, he didn't understand why I was not interested in him. I was amazed at his feeling of entitlement that he was at an advantage to be liked and accepted because he didn't consume alcohol. I understood the logic in a club, but by no means does this give him the right to pull me by the arm and snatch my purse from the other. As much as a tough girl as I am I was a little freaked, because I had just met this guy.
I couldn't believe how clueless these Sober and Mr. Nice Guy were or was it that I'm used to hanging around places where guys aren't so aggressive and women don't have to beg for attention. Either way I reminded myself that I was here for my friend and took a deep breath.
Finally the end came and my friend was ready to leave. On our way out, Mr. Nice Guy gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I smiled nervously because I definitely didn't know where that came from. He then told me that he wanted to hang out with me and that I shouldn't be so quiet. I said "Yeah sure lets definitely hang out sometime..." At that point I knew that to go on a date with this guy would definitely be stooping really low. I rather go to dinner with myself. I don't know if he was an idiot or just not into me or both.
I always wondered why "Nice" guys ended up getting their hearts broken or why they were involved in bad relationships with bitches, but after meeting one of these "nice" guys and I now understand why they are either single or date the wrong women. Mr. Nice Guy might be an awesome nice guy, but when it comes to women he does not know how to play his cards right and if he ever wants to date a decent mature woman he will have to learn somehow, but lucky for him I've given up my teacher role.
My rundown is that married couples sometimes have a different perspective on life, because unlike us single people, they have found what they are looking for. Even though married couples have the best intentions in mind and they want others to find the same, sometimes two single nice people just don't belong together because they are just not each others type. I'm in my Thirties, so I pretty much know what I want and don't want in a relationship, because I've been there and done all of that, so I don't deal with BS. That could be the reason why I'm single, but I am determined to find true love. Some might call me a dreamer, but I know its out there and wasting my time with supposedly nice guys which are clueless about dating or pursuing women is not an option for me. Nice guys are great and awesome, but not all of them are datable.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Its Not That Complicated....
After hearing postive feedback from many of my friends, I finally decided to watch "Its Complicated". I was leery due to the fact that I knew it had to do about cheating spouses. But I was surprised at how hilarious it was, yet unlike most of my friends I loved the ending. I related to Meryl Streep's character, Jane, on so many levels. She went from "Dream girl to Doormat to Dream girl" and didn't even know it.
Dream girl, because her husband saw her that way when they got married, then doormat because that's when her husband started taking advantage of her and cheating on her. And then Dream girl again, because it was at that pivotal moment when her husband saw her in a new light, like when they had first met. But the lesson here is that she never changed, she always was that hardworking, smart, edgy, classy dream girl, except she only changed in her husband's eyes, when he lost faith in their marriage and became greedy. Not only does her husband cheat on Jane, but then marries the mistress and then years later decides he isn't happy with his marriage and realizes that it was all superficial. He starts to see his mistress for what she is a good looking bitchy, insensitive woman, that really doesn't care about his feelings.
It is then that he finally realizes that his ex-wife is a great woman and decides to romance her once again. I still laugh at her face when she wakes up the next morning in the same bed with him. She is filled with disgust, because for her the love is gone and it was just one of those things that an Ex never wants to actually happen. She had moved on, but just lonely at the moment and acted. Yet her husband sees her as the Dream girl she always was and always will be. Unfortunately, I have to say that I can relate with Jane on so many levels.
There was a period in my life when I was a doormat, not in the most extreme sense, but where I was passive and didn't know my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me. Yet, after all the drama and bitterness I only grew as a person and learned from the experience, which ironically only made me a better person. Years later I too have received phone calls from my Ex telling me how much he regrets what he did and will do anything for me to take him back and give him another chance. While part of me doesn't believe him, the most important part is that the love is gone. I have moved on, but also choose not to rekindle that flame. Sometimes in life there are time frames for certain things to take place and if they don't happen within that time then they will never be.
A friend once told me that when a spouse cheats on you the betrayal can be compared to that of a rape and it is for that reason that I can definitely relate as to why Jane didn't take her husband back and was so disgusted with having an affair with him. She didn't go back to yesterday's baggage, but started fresh with a new guy, Adam.
My grandma has this saying, "mejor estar sola que mal acompanada". "Better off alone, than in bad company." After all of my life experiences I now understand more than ever. I rather be single than live in an unhappy relationship where there isn't 100% commitment. And just like Jane I too would of chosen Adam, well a much younger cuter version of course.
Dream girl, because her husband saw her that way when they got married, then doormat because that's when her husband started taking advantage of her and cheating on her. And then Dream girl again, because it was at that pivotal moment when her husband saw her in a new light, like when they had first met. But the lesson here is that she never changed, she always was that hardworking, smart, edgy, classy dream girl, except she only changed in her husband's eyes, when he lost faith in their marriage and became greedy. Not only does her husband cheat on Jane, but then marries the mistress and then years later decides he isn't happy with his marriage and realizes that it was all superficial. He starts to see his mistress for what she is a good looking bitchy, insensitive woman, that really doesn't care about his feelings.
It is then that he finally realizes that his ex-wife is a great woman and decides to romance her once again. I still laugh at her face when she wakes up the next morning in the same bed with him. She is filled with disgust, because for her the love is gone and it was just one of those things that an Ex never wants to actually happen. She had moved on, but just lonely at the moment and acted. Yet her husband sees her as the Dream girl she always was and always will be. Unfortunately, I have to say that I can relate with Jane on so many levels.
There was a period in my life when I was a doormat, not in the most extreme sense, but where I was passive and didn't know my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me. Yet, after all the drama and bitterness I only grew as a person and learned from the experience, which ironically only made me a better person. Years later I too have received phone calls from my Ex telling me how much he regrets what he did and will do anything for me to take him back and give him another chance. While part of me doesn't believe him, the most important part is that the love is gone. I have moved on, but also choose not to rekindle that flame. Sometimes in life there are time frames for certain things to take place and if they don't happen within that time then they will never be.
A friend once told me that when a spouse cheats on you the betrayal can be compared to that of a rape and it is for that reason that I can definitely relate as to why Jane didn't take her husband back and was so disgusted with having an affair with him. She didn't go back to yesterday's baggage, but started fresh with a new guy, Adam.
My grandma has this saying, "mejor estar sola que mal acompanada". "Better off alone, than in bad company." After all of my life experiences I now understand more than ever. I rather be single than live in an unhappy relationship where there isn't 100% commitment. And just like Jane I too would of chosen Adam, well a much younger cuter version of course.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Envy
As I sat in my cube typing away on a proposal, I received a call from a close friend. Not looking at the caller ID before I answered I was caught off guard when I heard his voice. If it had been any other day last month it wouldn't have mattered, but on this particular I had a serious case of "the No BS mood". Lately, I have been having a hard time recovering from the Costodondritis shots I received early this month and therefore having a really hard time dealing with my disease.
My friend has been going through much drama lately. He started to explain that he has been having several "Episodes". During these "Episodes" he has severe depression moments, which were ignited by a bad break-up. I've tried to be as objective as possible, since I have dealt with many mentally ill people throughout my professional and personal life, but on this particular day I just was not in the mental capacity to speak sympathetically.
As he began to tell his story about how his self esteem was so low that he didn't think he had much to live for. For the most part this young man leads a great life. He makes a decent salary, has a great apartment, new car, no debt, and most of all is very healthy. In fact he is so healthy that he has taken up boxing as a hobby. Therefore as I sat and listened I unconsciously began to become envious of his life. Although I don't like to be envious of people because it eventually leads to bitterness. At this particular moment, I slowly started to create a certain resentment. I started to reflect on my daily pain when I breathe and how sick I feel for no particular reason Slowly I started to feel a little pissed.
At this point in my head there wasn't any room for sympathy, so I just blurred it out!
I told him he was "WRONG"! I began to tell him how difficult my life is just to get to work. I have to sleep nine hours, take expensive medications, vitamins and minerals, get enough daily rest, no stress, no extraneous exercise, take pain shots and see various doctors, which amounts to high medical bills and on and on. He stood quiet, because my list turned into a rant. I know this conversation was supposed to be about him, but I felt a bit a selfishness on his part. I quickly calmed down and began to explain all of the positives in his life, which included that he has it easier than most people.
After my Envious moment, I felt proud that I had it more mentally together despite all of my problems than a "normal" person did. Unlike this person I have accepted my disease and decided to live with it and continue on my quest to live a better life every time. Later on that day, my friend called to thank me. I could here the sadness in his voice. He told me that what I told him earlier helped him realize that he does have a good life and much more to live for. I told him I wouldn't mind living vicariously through him. I asked him to do great things, so I could hear his awesome adventure stories and I apologized if I got a carried away.
My rundown is sometimes keeping it real with people is actually healthier than just agreeing with them or listening to them. I always have and always will keep it real and whenever I feel down I think of how lucky I am compared to others!
My friend has been going through much drama lately. He started to explain that he has been having several "Episodes". During these "Episodes" he has severe depression moments, which were ignited by a bad break-up. I've tried to be as objective as possible, since I have dealt with many mentally ill people throughout my professional and personal life, but on this particular day I just was not in the mental capacity to speak sympathetically.
As he began to tell his story about how his self esteem was so low that he didn't think he had much to live for. For the most part this young man leads a great life. He makes a decent salary, has a great apartment, new car, no debt, and most of all is very healthy. In fact he is so healthy that he has taken up boxing as a hobby. Therefore as I sat and listened I unconsciously began to become envious of his life. Although I don't like to be envious of people because it eventually leads to bitterness. At this particular moment, I slowly started to create a certain resentment. I started to reflect on my daily pain when I breathe and how sick I feel for no particular reason Slowly I started to feel a little pissed.
At this point in my head there wasn't any room for sympathy, so I just blurred it out!
I told him he was "WRONG"! I began to tell him how difficult my life is just to get to work. I have to sleep nine hours, take expensive medications, vitamins and minerals, get enough daily rest, no stress, no extraneous exercise, take pain shots and see various doctors, which amounts to high medical bills and on and on. He stood quiet, because my list turned into a rant. I know this conversation was supposed to be about him, but I felt a bit a selfishness on his part. I quickly calmed down and began to explain all of the positives in his life, which included that he has it easier than most people.
After my Envious moment, I felt proud that I had it more mentally together despite all of my problems than a "normal" person did. Unlike this person I have accepted my disease and decided to live with it and continue on my quest to live a better life every time. Later on that day, my friend called to thank me. I could here the sadness in his voice. He told me that what I told him earlier helped him realize that he does have a good life and much more to live for. I told him I wouldn't mind living vicariously through him. I asked him to do great things, so I could hear his awesome adventure stories and I apologized if I got a carried away.
My rundown is sometimes keeping it real with people is actually healthier than just agreeing with them or listening to them. I always have and always will keep it real and whenever I feel down I think of how lucky I am compared to others!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Pain Management
As I slowly started to come to, I opened my eyes and saw my sister to my right and looked down and saw tape over my wounds. I asked my sister, "How many shots did they give me, my chest is really hurting?" She said, "Twelve shots." I was surprised but relieved in a way.
About three weeks ago, Dr. Ferrante explained that in order to alleviate some of my chest pain, due to my Costocondritis, he recommended that I get a steroid/local anesthetic shot in my chest. He said this procedure was pretty simple, but had to be done using an X-ray to avoid puncturing my lungs. Since my rheumatologist also recommended this same procedure and I was tired of my chest hurting with every breathe, I immediately agreed. After I spoke with a friend that had the similar injections I grew a little apprehensive after she described the pain and the needles involved in the procedure. Dr. Ferrante explained that I would be under IV sedation, so I wasn't really worried about the pain. I was ready for relief, so it didn't matter.
I had never had an IV or an out-patient procedure done for that matter, so I didn't think the shots were that big of a deal. The day before I received a pre-admission phone call from UCLA Hospital. After I confirmed all of my information and hung up, I became slightly concerned. I started to realize that this procedure was a little more than just a shot. The next morning, I arrived on time to the hospital and filled out my paperwork. The lady at admissions was so serious and cold that I was almost a little leery of what to expect from the hospital staff. Having taken my Mom to the hospital many times, I knew that hospital medical staff weren't usually the best of people, but luckily for me I didn't have Kaiser. As she directed me to the double doors. I looked at my sister with some apprehension and she gave me the same look in return.
As we entered, the two nurses at the counter greeted us with a smile and told us that someone would be right with us. Almost simultaneously, a nurse approached us and asked what I was there for and looked at my paperwork. Immediately a petite middle-aged woman with blonde hair approached us and introduced herself as, "Wendy, my nurse". She immediately directed me to my hospital bed.
On the bed, there was a bag for my belongings with my gown, footies, and head cap. I changed into my hospital outfit and then nurse Wendy immediately brought in two warm blankets. I laid down and she gently wrapped them around me. I was surprised by her caring demeanor, yet she did make many sarcastic jokes along the way, which I thought were hilarious because it did lighten the mood.
After a doctor came in and introduced himself as one of the doctors that would be assisting Dr. Ferrante during the procedure and explained what was going to be done. I knew then that this was just not one shot, but in fact a pretty serious procedure. During all of this we heard loud yells coming from the hallway. Nurse Wendy looked at us and then walked out to see what was going on. She came back chuckling, "That was the doctor announcing he has arrived." "What doctor is that?", I asked. She replied, "your doctor." My sister and I gave each other surprised looks. I didn't know what to expect after that, but everyone was really nice, so I felt comfortable for now.
Nurse Wendy then hooked me up to an IV which was basically painless, beside the fact that she had me in suspense with a 3-2-1 countdown before she put in the needle. She gave me the rope to her call button, which she said she would appear like magic. I was intrigued by her sense of humor and kindness, perhaps because I was not expecting this at all. After waiting 10 minutes, another doctor came in to introduce himself and then a nurse that told me she would be in the room assisting Dr. Ferrante as well. They both told me, "We just want to help your pain go away." I felt a little better about the entire experience.
Twenty minutes later, two doctors came in and told me, "Its your turn." They wheeled me into the operating room, then moved me to the steel bed. As I lay there, I realized that there were six doctors and two nurses in the room, I really started to get apprehensive. Suddenly a nurse yelled, "Timeout". Then the other nurse said, "We're not ready for timeout". I thought that was funny because I didn't even know what timeout was. They fixed my gown to make the incision area accessible. Then the nursed yelled, "Timeout!" The other nurse and doctors froze. They started to ask my my name, verified my information and procedure. So that was Timeout, I was found that to be very thorough on the hospital's part, but so extreme that it was funny to me.
The doctors sterilized the area and hooked me up to the monitors. As I looked up to see my lungs in the x-ray machine, I noticed one of the nurses injecting my IV. I asked her what she was giving me and she replied with a sly look, "Something to relax." Just then Dr. Ferrante injected started to inject my clavicle bone. It hurt so much but then after I knocked out. I was so confused when I awoke, because I could see the doctors wheeling me back to the room where my sister was. I asked her what happened. She said I had been talking to the nurse the whole time. I started to laugh because I remember, but like a dream.
I received 12 shots that day, but in the name of pain, I was willing to take some for the team. Even though my bruises and injections sites look ugly, I had great doctors and nurses and that makes everything better. Having a courteous medical staff surprised me, since I was used to watching my Mom's and Grandma's nurses during the many times they were hospitalized and how inconsiderate and insensitive they were towards the patients. I think I received pretty good treatment. My rundown is that sometimes that caring hand during a uncomfortable experience is sometimes the only thing that carries the patient through. For a patient in a gown and feeling vulnerable is already an embarrassing experience, that the last thing they need is a mean nurse giving them a hard time. Thanks UCLA staff, I hope this helps my pain.
About three weeks ago, Dr. Ferrante explained that in order to alleviate some of my chest pain, due to my Costocondritis, he recommended that I get a steroid/local anesthetic shot in my chest. He said this procedure was pretty simple, but had to be done using an X-ray to avoid puncturing my lungs. Since my rheumatologist also recommended this same procedure and I was tired of my chest hurting with every breathe, I immediately agreed. After I spoke with a friend that had the similar injections I grew a little apprehensive after she described the pain and the needles involved in the procedure. Dr. Ferrante explained that I would be under IV sedation, so I wasn't really worried about the pain. I was ready for relief, so it didn't matter.
I had never had an IV or an out-patient procedure done for that matter, so I didn't think the shots were that big of a deal. The day before I received a pre-admission phone call from UCLA Hospital. After I confirmed all of my information and hung up, I became slightly concerned. I started to realize that this procedure was a little more than just a shot. The next morning, I arrived on time to the hospital and filled out my paperwork. The lady at admissions was so serious and cold that I was almost a little leery of what to expect from the hospital staff. Having taken my Mom to the hospital many times, I knew that hospital medical staff weren't usually the best of people, but luckily for me I didn't have Kaiser. As she directed me to the double doors. I looked at my sister with some apprehension and she gave me the same look in return.
As we entered, the two nurses at the counter greeted us with a smile and told us that someone would be right with us. Almost simultaneously, a nurse approached us and asked what I was there for and looked at my paperwork. Immediately a petite middle-aged woman with blonde hair approached us and introduced herself as, "Wendy, my nurse". She immediately directed me to my hospital bed.
On the bed, there was a bag for my belongings with my gown, footies, and head cap. I changed into my hospital outfit and then nurse Wendy immediately brought in two warm blankets. I laid down and she gently wrapped them around me. I was surprised by her caring demeanor, yet she did make many sarcastic jokes along the way, which I thought were hilarious because it did lighten the mood.
After a doctor came in and introduced himself as one of the doctors that would be assisting Dr. Ferrante during the procedure and explained what was going to be done. I knew then that this was just not one shot, but in fact a pretty serious procedure. During all of this we heard loud yells coming from the hallway. Nurse Wendy looked at us and then walked out to see what was going on. She came back chuckling, "That was the doctor announcing he has arrived." "What doctor is that?", I asked. She replied, "your doctor." My sister and I gave each other surprised looks. I didn't know what to expect after that, but everyone was really nice, so I felt comfortable for now.
Nurse Wendy then hooked me up to an IV which was basically painless, beside the fact that she had me in suspense with a 3-2-1 countdown before she put in the needle. She gave me the rope to her call button, which she said she would appear like magic. I was intrigued by her sense of humor and kindness, perhaps because I was not expecting this at all. After waiting 10 minutes, another doctor came in to introduce himself and then a nurse that told me she would be in the room assisting Dr. Ferrante as well. They both told me, "We just want to help your pain go away." I felt a little better about the entire experience.
Twenty minutes later, two doctors came in and told me, "Its your turn." They wheeled me into the operating room, then moved me to the steel bed. As I lay there, I realized that there were six doctors and two nurses in the room, I really started to get apprehensive. Suddenly a nurse yelled, "Timeout". Then the other nurse said, "We're not ready for timeout". I thought that was funny because I didn't even know what timeout was. They fixed my gown to make the incision area accessible. Then the nursed yelled, "Timeout!" The other nurse and doctors froze. They started to ask my my name, verified my information and procedure. So that was Timeout, I was found that to be very thorough on the hospital's part, but so extreme that it was funny to me.
The doctors sterilized the area and hooked me up to the monitors. As I looked up to see my lungs in the x-ray machine, I noticed one of the nurses injecting my IV. I asked her what she was giving me and she replied with a sly look, "Something to relax." Just then Dr. Ferrante injected started to inject my clavicle bone. It hurt so much but then after I knocked out. I was so confused when I awoke, because I could see the doctors wheeling me back to the room where my sister was. I asked her what happened. She said I had been talking to the nurse the whole time. I started to laugh because I remember, but like a dream.
I received 12 shots that day, but in the name of pain, I was willing to take some for the team. Even though my bruises and injections sites look ugly, I had great doctors and nurses and that makes everything better. Having a courteous medical staff surprised me, since I was used to watching my Mom's and Grandma's nurses during the many times they were hospitalized and how inconsiderate and insensitive they were towards the patients. I think I received pretty good treatment. My rundown is that sometimes that caring hand during a uncomfortable experience is sometimes the only thing that carries the patient through. For a patient in a gown and feeling vulnerable is already an embarrassing experience, that the last thing they need is a mean nurse giving them a hard time. Thanks UCLA staff, I hope this helps my pain.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Its just the flu Yesi!
About a month ago while walking past my coworker's office I noticed he was really pale. I knew he had the flu since Monday, but now Wednesday he looked worse. I told him that maybe he should go home, since he didn't look well. He said he was okay and was going to work through it. I didn't think much of it since I had been feeling well for quite some time now. Yet, by Thursday I started to feel tired and by Friday it hit me. The next week when another coworker had to call in sick I gave my coworker, Mr. M, the evil eye. Jokingly, I told him he got us all sick. He responded, "It was just the flu, Yesi!"
Not getting any better I went to the doctor. During the exam the doctor jokingly told me, "First he goes to Hawaii, and then he gets you sick. Don't you just hate him?" She was referring to my sick coworker. I just laughed and agreed to a slight degree. After discussing my situation with another doctor they were gravely concerned since for us Lupus patients having flu symptoms is not a good sign. Highly concerned he ordered an x-ray of my lungs because he he wanted to make sure I didn't have pneumonia. When he said this, I felt a little scared. I didn't realize that my simple flu could get that bad. I started to regret not taking Vitamin C to boost my immune system sooner. Luckily the results were normal. I was so relieved because the last thing I would want was pneumonia.
Perhaps I spoke too soon, because even though my lungs didn't have any fluid, I started to feel even worse. Extreme fatigue, swelling, and severe pain; sadly, these symptoms were all to familiar. My evil eye to Mr. M, which started as a joke was now almost true. Starting to feel this sick succumbed me to think back to over a year ago, when was the last time I experienced a Lupus flare. While Mr. M was now better than ever as if nothing ever happened, my body on the other hand was on slow downward spiral. Moments such as these give me a slight feeling of envy. Not only are most people able to bounce back from a flu quickly, but they are able to lead normal lives in the process.
For us Lupus patients it is not that easy, while our immune systems are sensitive not only because of the disease, but also because of all of the medication we need to take; the worst part for us besides all of this is that we have to deal with the mental anguish of having to put our lives on hold to recover. While I have mentally learned how to deal with my pain, the tough part is that I have to force myself to rest and cancel all of my plans. Unlike Mr. M's simple flu which he can work through going about his day even though he is spreading all of his germs in the process, it is just physically impossible for me to do that. Simple things like walking or getting out of bed are daily painful tasks, but getting the flu virus exacerbates my entire situation.
Dealing with envy is simple for me, but at times I do admire "normal" people and I appreciate those days when I come close to feeling that way. That is why I enjoy every moment and spend my time wisely, since my physical activities are limited. This has me made me sensitive to those around me that are sick and I sympathize with them and try to help if possible. My rundown is that if you do feel sick with something as simple as the flu, take a day off of life not only to get better but also so you prevent spreading your germs to those around you that might not be as lucky as you in the recovery process, because for some of us, its just not as simple as the Flu.
Not getting any better I went to the doctor. During the exam the doctor jokingly told me, "First he goes to Hawaii, and then he gets you sick. Don't you just hate him?" She was referring to my sick coworker. I just laughed and agreed to a slight degree. After discussing my situation with another doctor they were gravely concerned since for us Lupus patients having flu symptoms is not a good sign. Highly concerned he ordered an x-ray of my lungs because he he wanted to make sure I didn't have pneumonia. When he said this, I felt a little scared. I didn't realize that my simple flu could get that bad. I started to regret not taking Vitamin C to boost my immune system sooner. Luckily the results were normal. I was so relieved because the last thing I would want was pneumonia.
Perhaps I spoke too soon, because even though my lungs didn't have any fluid, I started to feel even worse. Extreme fatigue, swelling, and severe pain; sadly, these symptoms were all to familiar. My evil eye to Mr. M, which started as a joke was now almost true. Starting to feel this sick succumbed me to think back to over a year ago, when was the last time I experienced a Lupus flare. While Mr. M was now better than ever as if nothing ever happened, my body on the other hand was on slow downward spiral. Moments such as these give me a slight feeling of envy. Not only are most people able to bounce back from a flu quickly, but they are able to lead normal lives in the process.
For us Lupus patients it is not that easy, while our immune systems are sensitive not only because of the disease, but also because of all of the medication we need to take; the worst part for us besides all of this is that we have to deal with the mental anguish of having to put our lives on hold to recover. While I have mentally learned how to deal with my pain, the tough part is that I have to force myself to rest and cancel all of my plans. Unlike Mr. M's simple flu which he can work through going about his day even though he is spreading all of his germs in the process, it is just physically impossible for me to do that. Simple things like walking or getting out of bed are daily painful tasks, but getting the flu virus exacerbates my entire situation.
Dealing with envy is simple for me, but at times I do admire "normal" people and I appreciate those days when I come close to feeling that way. That is why I enjoy every moment and spend my time wisely, since my physical activities are limited. This has me made me sensitive to those around me that are sick and I sympathize with them and try to help if possible. My rundown is that if you do feel sick with something as simple as the flu, take a day off of life not only to get better but also so you prevent spreading your germs to those around you that might not be as lucky as you in the recovery process, because for some of us, its just not as simple as the Flu.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Bittersweet
Walking into the crowded boardroom, I began to notice there were several empty seats along the wall. As I started to walk towards them, I happen to stand in front of JLL's CEO. Naturally, this was a good coincidence since I've been wanting to meet this British fellow, especially after this week's events. So as I shook his hand I almost wanted to ask him directly if I was still going to have a job next week, but I held back and introduced myself. During his inspirational and uplifting speech, about how well our company was doing in the US and worldwide despite the ever failing market, I had a stream of mixed emotions run through my mind. If an outsider was hearing this speech they would have never known that 150 people were laid off earlier that week.
Massive layoffs, store closures and bankruptcy is all too familiar these days and working in the real estate industry, I've heard how entire departments exist one day and are gone the next. Yet, perhaps since my company was hiring so many people many of us did not expect massive layoffs to happen so close to home. Catching everyone by surprise, 150 people lost their jobs on Tuesday at my company. Many of these people had dedicated many years of service and even though in the back of their minds they were expecting layoffs they never thought they would be let go in the most humiliating way.
While covering the front desk three weeks ago, I noticed that HR was in town and was meeting with a co-worker in a conference room. Ten minutes later she walked out in tears; she had been fired. I was stunned and saddened, but in retrospect I can say that she was lucky and was laid off in a decent manner. I think this is at the very least the way someone should find out that they have lost their job. So on Tuesday when I asked my supervisor how she felt, she said that the reason why she reacted so emotionally was because of the way she was informed of the bad news.
Monday night my supervisor received an email inviting her to attend an important conference call Tuesday morning. Leaving late that night after a long work day, she did not expect anything negative about the conference call or the idea of being laid off had not crossed her mind especially since recently her workload had been doubled. The next day after I attended a "Broker kickoff", (which was an upsetting event), I received an email from my coworker telling me that our supervisor had been "let go". I was in shock and troubled. We were all stunned. If anything we expected to be "let go" before our superiors. Later I heard that the conference call my supervisor was invited to was in fact held by the head of her department telling her, "they were letting her go." After she called her boss she found out that they had laid her off as well and all of the administrative department for that matter. "The End", she didn't get a meeting with HR or even a "thank you for all your years of service". That is all she got. Later that day we heard that other people were simply just shut out of their computers and when they called to inquire about their problem they found out they had been laid off. (Absolute dismay.) Yesterday we received an email informing the rest of the staff about the "workforce reduction" that had happened on Tuesday. After reading the two paragraph explanation. I thought it was simply heartless.
So as I sat at the "CEO's Round Table" event this morning, I started to wonder who else was next to be sacrificed to pave the way for the company's survival during this recession, so the "Suits" could keep their stock options and fat salaries. Even though I'm a believer in survival of the fittest, I still think that employees deserve respect and courtesy. Most of the employees have dedicated their lives to this company and I my rundown is that they deserve at least a simple, "thank you". We have no idea how those 150 people are doing and we won't since they "no longer exist" in our company. In the news more and more you hear horrible stories of suicide by people in desperation. Obviously, after witnessing how employees are being laid off, I can understand the madness.
"Move with the cheese and enjoy it!" - Spencer Johnson
Massive layoffs, store closures and bankruptcy is all too familiar these days and working in the real estate industry, I've heard how entire departments exist one day and are gone the next. Yet, perhaps since my company was hiring so many people many of us did not expect massive layoffs to happen so close to home. Catching everyone by surprise, 150 people lost their jobs on Tuesday at my company. Many of these people had dedicated many years of service and even though in the back of their minds they were expecting layoffs they never thought they would be let go in the most humiliating way.
While covering the front desk three weeks ago, I noticed that HR was in town and was meeting with a co-worker in a conference room. Ten minutes later she walked out in tears; she had been fired. I was stunned and saddened, but in retrospect I can say that she was lucky and was laid off in a decent manner. I think this is at the very least the way someone should find out that they have lost their job. So on Tuesday when I asked my supervisor how she felt, she said that the reason why she reacted so emotionally was because of the way she was informed of the bad news.
Monday night my supervisor received an email inviting her to attend an important conference call Tuesday morning. Leaving late that night after a long work day, she did not expect anything negative about the conference call or the idea of being laid off had not crossed her mind especially since recently her workload had been doubled. The next day after I attended a "Broker kickoff", (which was an upsetting event), I received an email from my coworker telling me that our supervisor had been "let go". I was in shock and troubled. We were all stunned. If anything we expected to be "let go" before our superiors. Later I heard that the conference call my supervisor was invited to was in fact held by the head of her department telling her, "they were letting her go." After she called her boss she found out that they had laid her off as well and all of the administrative department for that matter. "The End", she didn't get a meeting with HR or even a "thank you for all your years of service". That is all she got. Later that day we heard that other people were simply just shut out of their computers and when they called to inquire about their problem they found out they had been laid off. (Absolute dismay.) Yesterday we received an email informing the rest of the staff about the "workforce reduction" that had happened on Tuesday. After reading the two paragraph explanation. I thought it was simply heartless.
So as I sat at the "CEO's Round Table" event this morning, I started to wonder who else was next to be sacrificed to pave the way for the company's survival during this recession, so the "Suits" could keep their stock options and fat salaries. Even though I'm a believer in survival of the fittest, I still think that employees deserve respect and courtesy. Most of the employees have dedicated their lives to this company and I my rundown is that they deserve at least a simple, "thank you". We have no idea how those 150 people are doing and we won't since they "no longer exist" in our company. In the news more and more you hear horrible stories of suicide by people in desperation. Obviously, after witnessing how employees are being laid off, I can understand the madness.
"Move with the cheese and enjoy it!" - Spencer Johnson
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Got a News Reporter?
Flowers, farewell letters, a poinsettia, a heart cushion that says "I love you", and candles adorn a little tree about 10 yards from one of the busiest intersections in downtown. For anyone that did not cross this intersection exactly a week ago would not know what this shrine was for. To this date no one has reported on the horrific accident that occurred on the morning of Wednesday January 7th.
January 7th was just like any other morning, running late as usual as I walked out of the parking structure checking my phone for the time. With two minutes to eight and the Dash right in front of me, I decided just to power walk the three long blocks to work. As I crossed 4th street I noticed more traffic than usual. I told myself how glad I was that I didn't take the Dash. As I got closer I noticed that Flower St was completely closed and traffic was diverted. Behind the yellow tape there was a bus in the middle of the street. And then I saw blood and what looked like skin chunks. As I realized what had happened I looked away and hoped the person made it. When I walked into my building I asked the security what happened. He began to explain how a lady crossing the street at 6:30 am heading to work was hit by the bus. He then began to describe what she looked like afterwards and I was horrified. I couldn't believe that had happened right in front of my building. It seemed like the bus was making a left onto Flower St and hit her. Wondering what exactly had happened my coworkers and I tried to find more information on the accident online. The next day the same thing; no news reporting or news reels. We began to wonder if it was just a bum or a "working" woman that got hit, since no one bothered to report on it.
Yet, I was still confused at how this news story had slipped through the cracks, since after all it did involve a bus driver. I know driving in LA is horrible, but sometimes bus drivers are extra aggressive and cunning. I know they have deadlines to meet and Angelino drivers sometimes don't give them the courtesy, but I really wonder what happened here. Later that week we received an email from building management explaining that the victim was a 58-year-old woman, Gwendolyn Coleman that worked for a company in the Paul Hastings building. She was the mother of three and had a grandchild. She had worked for her company for more than twenty years.
This was very sad to hear. Hundreds of people cross these streets everyday and I know the last thing on our minds while walking to work is getting hit by a bus. Well my rundown is that I hope that whatever happened on Flower Street gets properly investigated and if it was the bus driver's fault than I hope they prosecute the person to the full extent of the law, since I think Ms. Coleman deserves justice. RIP Ms. Coleman
January 7th was just like any other morning, running late as usual as I walked out of the parking structure checking my phone for the time. With two minutes to eight and the Dash right in front of me, I decided just to power walk the three long blocks to work. As I crossed 4th street I noticed more traffic than usual. I told myself how glad I was that I didn't take the Dash. As I got closer I noticed that Flower St was completely closed and traffic was diverted. Behind the yellow tape there was a bus in the middle of the street. And then I saw blood and what looked like skin chunks. As I realized what had happened I looked away and hoped the person made it. When I walked into my building I asked the security what happened. He began to explain how a lady crossing the street at 6:30 am heading to work was hit by the bus. He then began to describe what she looked like afterwards and I was horrified. I couldn't believe that had happened right in front of my building. It seemed like the bus was making a left onto Flower St and hit her. Wondering what exactly had happened my coworkers and I tried to find more information on the accident online. The next day the same thing; no news reporting or news reels. We began to wonder if it was just a bum or a "working" woman that got hit, since no one bothered to report on it.
Yet, I was still confused at how this news story had slipped through the cracks, since after all it did involve a bus driver. I know driving in LA is horrible, but sometimes bus drivers are extra aggressive and cunning. I know they have deadlines to meet and Angelino drivers sometimes don't give them the courtesy, but I really wonder what happened here. Later that week we received an email from building management explaining that the victim was a 58-year-old woman, Gwendolyn Coleman that worked for a company in the Paul Hastings building. She was the mother of three and had a grandchild. She had worked for her company for more than twenty years.
This was very sad to hear. Hundreds of people cross these streets everyday and I know the last thing on our minds while walking to work is getting hit by a bus. Well my rundown is that I hope that whatever happened on Flower Street gets properly investigated and if it was the bus driver's fault than I hope they prosecute the person to the full extent of the law, since I think Ms. Coleman deserves justice. RIP Ms. Coleman
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Heads or Tails
As I sat in my chair totally excited about the New Year, trying to figure out how I could of possibly have gotten this buzzed off of two glasses of white wine, off in the distance I could hear people arguing. Seemingly the voices seemed like they spoke out of the funnel. As I slowly started to tune in I started to discern that they were arguing about the Middle East Crisis. As I took a sip of my water bottle, I recognized one of the voices; one of them was my good friend, a human rights advocate. She was arguing her point to some boy, which decided to play devil's advocate with her. In my mind as I tried to compose my thoughts which almost seemed impossible because after all I was under the influence, I was trying to gather support arguments in her favor and wondered how did we go from playing an awesome game of Kings to talking about the Gaza Strip. Perhaps it could of been all of the alcohol consumed before the stroke of midnight but the fact was that these people were talking politics and politics to me is a very touchy subject especially when we have passionate opinions about war and government, but also when we are arguing about it during New Year's Eve.
As I zoned into the conversation, I could here someone call my friend a manipulator. I quickly defended her and was perplexed by this comment, because it was a matter of prospective. My friend was simply arguing her point and in a debate the argument is won when a person makes the strongest argument, but then again who is to say which side is right or wrong. In this case the debate can easily be answered by the measurement of loss of human life, but how about in other situations. As a person that has a strong opinion about everything, I feel it is almost always a matter of perspective. I have learned that an event with different witnesses can have many different descriptions.
More than a year ago, I myself was in an argument, where my words were taken completely out of context. Months later when the person finally confronted me about things I said, I was completely stunned by their interpretation of what I had actually said. What that person perceived of my words was almost nowhere near the point I was actually trying to make. Comically, I started to realize the reason why that person took such a long time to accept my apology.
I then started to learn that the idea of perspective can take you in so many directions. So when I start to argue my point I try to make it as clear as possible, in the hopes that we are on the same page and my feelings and opinions will be completely understood. I also try not to argue under the influence of alcohol or with a devil's advocate for that matter.
My rundown is that when people are arguing their case, they are not necessarily a manipulator, they are just expressing their opinion. I accept people's opinion at face value and if their points are valid will take them into consideration, because after all who is to say that there are right or wrong answers to life sometimes. Perspective is formed by our upbringings and our conformation to the norms of society and thats why no two people are alike.
As I zoned into the conversation, I could here someone call my friend a manipulator. I quickly defended her and was perplexed by this comment, because it was a matter of prospective. My friend was simply arguing her point and in a debate the argument is won when a person makes the strongest argument, but then again who is to say which side is right or wrong. In this case the debate can easily be answered by the measurement of loss of human life, but how about in other situations. As a person that has a strong opinion about everything, I feel it is almost always a matter of perspective. I have learned that an event with different witnesses can have many different descriptions.
More than a year ago, I myself was in an argument, where my words were taken completely out of context. Months later when the person finally confronted me about things I said, I was completely stunned by their interpretation of what I had actually said. What that person perceived of my words was almost nowhere near the point I was actually trying to make. Comically, I started to realize the reason why that person took such a long time to accept my apology.
I then started to learn that the idea of perspective can take you in so many directions. So when I start to argue my point I try to make it as clear as possible, in the hopes that we are on the same page and my feelings and opinions will be completely understood. I also try not to argue under the influence of alcohol or with a devil's advocate for that matter.
My rundown is that when people are arguing their case, they are not necessarily a manipulator, they are just expressing their opinion. I accept people's opinion at face value and if their points are valid will take them into consideration, because after all who is to say that there are right or wrong answers to life sometimes. Perspective is formed by our upbringings and our conformation to the norms of society and thats why no two people are alike.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Love Equals Pain & Suffering?
During a conversation I had with a coworker at my usual daily hangout, my cubicle, she described how a relative of hers defined love as pain and suffering and that it was best to stay away from it to avoid future heartbreak. I disregarded the conversation since I didn't agree. Later that day I received a phone call from an old guy friend and during our conversation on "catching up with our lives" he decided to share his perspective on marriage, because he had found a new theory. Since earlier that day I had already heard a pessimist view, I hesitantly listened to him. He told me he was an avid listener of Tom Leykis and he totally agreed on Leykis's views about marriage. Tom Leykis advices his listeners against marriage because he sees it as more or less unnecessary. Leykis says that he does whatever he wants with his life because he is not married and feels that all men should "protect" themselves and not get married, because it is all downhill after that. This almost made me chuckle, because being a veteran of a broken heart myself I know how to smell bitterness about a mile away. My broken heart was mended eons ago and so even though I too have experienced that pain and suffering my coworker was talking about it was soon mended when I realized that the love in the relationship was not mutual and that I had to move on.
Yet, coincidentally, that weekend while hanging out with a friend, she too began to share her views of marriage. She viewed marriage as just a unnecessary contract. While, I did agree with her on the fact that if two people are in love, a piece of paper should not validate their commitment to each other, I don't agree that marriage should be discounted all together. What about the vows that are made during marriage; "For richer or for poorer, through sickness and health, etc...?"
I'm thinking that perhaps everyone was missing the point and the bigger picture. Or is it that I am just a dreamer? But lets just say that their theory is true, could it be that all of the millions of people that get married every Saturday or elope to Vegas are just wasting their time and not being logical in their actions, since after all according to Tom Leykis it will all go to the dumps after that. Or could it really be that people that don't believe in marriage haven't found true love or mended their broken hearts? I'm leaning more towards this theory.
I'm thinking this debate can go on forever, but I do know that all the people that I know that are married are happy together. They describe marriage as a devotion they have made to each other and that they instantly knew that their significant other was the "one" almost right away. While they do agree that marriages consist of much compromise and effort from both parties, they are happy with their choice of getting married, because after all they are in love with each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.
My rundown is that this makes more sense to me. While I must admit that at times I don't agree with all the hoopla of marriage, like matron of honor, ring bearers and so forth. I do believe in the idea that when you find that special someone that you fall in love with and picture growing old together than marriage is that ultimate promise you make to one another and things will work themselves out after that, because the feeling is mutual. I think that when love is mutual a commitment like marriage will not be an issue and will come effortlessly. Perhaps, if you truly don't believe in marriage you will never marry, but for all of those who do believe in putting that promise to one another on paper than I wish you happy hunting for your perfect match!
Yet, coincidentally, that weekend while hanging out with a friend, she too began to share her views of marriage. She viewed marriage as just a unnecessary contract. While, I did agree with her on the fact that if two people are in love, a piece of paper should not validate their commitment to each other, I don't agree that marriage should be discounted all together. What about the vows that are made during marriage; "For richer or for poorer, through sickness and health, etc...?"
I'm thinking that perhaps everyone was missing the point and the bigger picture. Or is it that I am just a dreamer? But lets just say that their theory is true, could it be that all of the millions of people that get married every Saturday or elope to Vegas are just wasting their time and not being logical in their actions, since after all according to Tom Leykis it will all go to the dumps after that. Or could it really be that people that don't believe in marriage haven't found true love or mended their broken hearts? I'm leaning more towards this theory.
I'm thinking this debate can go on forever, but I do know that all the people that I know that are married are happy together. They describe marriage as a devotion they have made to each other and that they instantly knew that their significant other was the "one" almost right away. While they do agree that marriages consist of much compromise and effort from both parties, they are happy with their choice of getting married, because after all they are in love with each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.
My rundown is that this makes more sense to me. While I must admit that at times I don't agree with all the hoopla of marriage, like matron of honor, ring bearers and so forth. I do believe in the idea that when you find that special someone that you fall in love with and picture growing old together than marriage is that ultimate promise you make to one another and things will work themselves out after that, because the feeling is mutual. I think that when love is mutual a commitment like marriage will not be an issue and will come effortlessly. Perhaps, if you truly don't believe in marriage you will never marry, but for all of those who do believe in putting that promise to one another on paper than I wish you happy hunting for your perfect match!
Monday, November 17, 2008
In My Past Life as a Workaholic
New Year’s Eve 2006, most Angelinos were getting off work early to rush home to put the champagne on ice, get ready and look good for the best party of the year, the coming of 2007. Yet, in a small apartment near Pico Blvd., the scene was very different. On this particular Saturday I was instead on my laptop, painstakingly trying to get my boss a flight out of Bali. On a last minute whim my ex-boss decided that she wanted to cut her trip short and since she was 10 hours ahead it was already the next day in Asia. So, instead of trying to find an outfit to wear to my friend’s New Year’s Eve party or find time to relax, I was making endless phone calls to travel agents, trying to find a nonstop flight from Bali to London, then London to LAX. My evening progressed as I starting pulling out my hairs and trying to call in favors because as everyone knows this type of request is almost impossible on New Year’s eve. Even though I eventually did find her a flight and got paid double time for the evening, I had to cancel my dinner plans and was late to my friend’s party. Time was wasted.
Like any other “good worker” dedicated to my career and getting the job done, I put all of my plans on hold, because I had to fix this crisis. Yet, this was an all too familiar site to see in my life as an executive assistant. I was always late to personal appointments, missed many friends’ birthday parties, and didn’t really get to see friends and family much. Eventually working 12 hour work days and weekends took the best of me and physically, I fell apart. So I consider this era in my life as hard lesson learned.
Recently, at my current job, my boss has started to make similar ludicrous demands. Yet, these demands are all too familiar to me and remind me of my past life as a workaholic. Yet even though I am still a “dedicated good worker” I already know the symptoms of a workaholic; you slowly start to fall into your boss’s mold, take on more projects since they are all urgent and need to be done right away, which leads to working long hours and before you know it you are stressed, tired, and unhappy. Perhaps to some this might not seem like an issue, but if these demands come from someone with their own agenda and you’re just the “working bee” in their get rich strategy, I think this is unfair to you the “good worker”. I have learned to say no and require a priority list that can be done within the 8 hour work day. Never again will I let a power money hungry individual run my life.
My rundown is that everyone has different goals in life and while I too want money and success, I will only do it if I enjoy my life along the way. I will not work 12 hour workdays just for the overtime money anymore, since there are so many other things to do in life, like having FUN and spending time with those that you love. So to all the workaholics out there, I wish you the best and I envy every minute of your dedication, because I too used to be like you.
Like any other “good worker” dedicated to my career and getting the job done, I put all of my plans on hold, because I had to fix this crisis. Yet, this was an all too familiar site to see in my life as an executive assistant. I was always late to personal appointments, missed many friends’ birthday parties, and didn’t really get to see friends and family much. Eventually working 12 hour work days and weekends took the best of me and physically, I fell apart. So I consider this era in my life as hard lesson learned.
Recently, at my current job, my boss has started to make similar ludicrous demands. Yet, these demands are all too familiar to me and remind me of my past life as a workaholic. Yet even though I am still a “dedicated good worker” I already know the symptoms of a workaholic; you slowly start to fall into your boss’s mold, take on more projects since they are all urgent and need to be done right away, which leads to working long hours and before you know it you are stressed, tired, and unhappy. Perhaps to some this might not seem like an issue, but if these demands come from someone with their own agenda and you’re just the “working bee” in their get rich strategy, I think this is unfair to you the “good worker”. I have learned to say no and require a priority list that can be done within the 8 hour work day. Never again will I let a power money hungry individual run my life.
My rundown is that everyone has different goals in life and while I too want money and success, I will only do it if I enjoy my life along the way. I will not work 12 hour workdays just for the overtime money anymore, since there are so many other things to do in life, like having FUN and spending time with those that you love. So to all the workaholics out there, I wish you the best and I envy every minute of your dedication, because I too used to be like you.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Lupus Walk Los Angeles
On most Saturdays in the fall Exposition Park is where Trojan fans assemble for the traditional ritual of tailgating, but on this Saturday Angelinos assembled at Exposition Park for a different cause. Thousands joined in the 2nd annual Lupus Walk Los Angeles. Lupus is an autoimmune disease that affects (1) out of every (200) Americans. After missing it last year, I was determined to walk the entire 3 miles this year. There were teams everywhere with Butterfly logos, signs, and banners. I slowly started to really absorb being surrounded by all of this positive support. It was in a sense aspiring to continue on and give an extra effort for the cause and my recovery.
Yet, as the “Yesi” Team stood waiting for the walk to start we realized at how many of the banners read “RIP”. My friend turned to me with a perplexed look on her face and asked me, “Yesi, people die from Lupus?” I sadly answered, “Yes.” I was amazed as well at how many people were walking for patients that had been killed by this disease. I noticed that all of the pictures were of young girls and as I started to walk I started to appreciate the fact that I was able to walk at this event and was getting healthy. As the cliché goes “the grass is always greener on the other side” and in my case I’m on the greener side and I’m really grateful.
So my rundown is that sometimes it is hard to appreciate the little things in life and in my case as a Lupus patient, I got a hard lesson in life. Therefore I am grateful for everything that I can do and for all of those that surround me. Thanks to everyone that came out to support! Much love!
Yet, as the “Yesi” Team stood waiting for the walk to start we realized at how many of the banners read “RIP”. My friend turned to me with a perplexed look on her face and asked me, “Yesi, people die from Lupus?” I sadly answered, “Yes.” I was amazed as well at how many people were walking for patients that had been killed by this disease. I noticed that all of the pictures were of young girls and as I started to walk I started to appreciate the fact that I was able to walk at this event and was getting healthy. As the cliché goes “the grass is always greener on the other side” and in my case I’m on the greener side and I’m really grateful.
So my rundown is that sometimes it is hard to appreciate the little things in life and in my case as a Lupus patient, I got a hard lesson in life. Therefore I am grateful for everything that I can do and for all of those that surround me. Thanks to everyone that came out to support! Much love!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Playing Fair
In the movie 50 first dates Adam Sandler’s character, Henry, breaks up with his girlfriend by telling her that he is a spy that has to go undercover to another country so he will not be able to see her again. While this scene was upsetting to me, it made me realize how honesty and confrontation are really hard for some people to the point that they have to sort of weasel their way out of it and unless the other person finds out they are basically “Scott Free”. Or are they?
After talking to a friend that was recently dumped I was perplexed by her story. It is bad enough that breakups are hard to deal with, but for her the wound was worsened when she found out that her boyfriend had lied to her when he broke up with her. He initially told her he needed “space” and needed to find himself, yet two months later she found out he had a girlfriend. In reality he didn’t need any “space” he just didn’t want to be with her anymore. This made me wonder, “Is there a real way to break up with someone?” And how do you do it without hurting feelings? I think for some “Breaking up” is almost a necessary evil especially if the relationship is not healthy anymore or the spark is gone. Most of the time in a situation like this if both parties are “Adults” it will hurt, but their will be a mutual agreement.
My rundown is just to be as honest as possible, because not only are you being honest with the other person, but yourself as well. You have to treat others as you would like to be treated. When someone breaks up with you, how would you feel or how would you like to be treated?
As sad as breakups are, they are a reality and I’m pretty sure all of us have been on either end at one point or another so play nice.
After talking to a friend that was recently dumped I was perplexed by her story. It is bad enough that breakups are hard to deal with, but for her the wound was worsened when she found out that her boyfriend had lied to her when he broke up with her. He initially told her he needed “space” and needed to find himself, yet two months later she found out he had a girlfriend. In reality he didn’t need any “space” he just didn’t want to be with her anymore. This made me wonder, “Is there a real way to break up with someone?” And how do you do it without hurting feelings? I think for some “Breaking up” is almost a necessary evil especially if the relationship is not healthy anymore or the spark is gone. Most of the time in a situation like this if both parties are “Adults” it will hurt, but their will be a mutual agreement.
My rundown is just to be as honest as possible, because not only are you being honest with the other person, but yourself as well. You have to treat others as you would like to be treated. When someone breaks up with you, how would you feel or how would you like to be treated?
As sad as breakups are, they are a reality and I’m pretty sure all of us have been on either end at one point or another so play nice.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
To Palin or Not to Palin
With a black skirt suit and clear rimmed glasses, Palin stood in front of America “representing” Hockey Moms everywhere. Palin rallied for Joe Six Packs and Hockey Moms to fight back against the greed of Wall Street. She has charisma and inspiration and with that the Republicans are awed. A day after her "inspiring" speech at the Republican convention someone at work approached me asking, “Did you see her? Wasn’t she amazing?” Well he was of course referring to Sarah Palin, the Republican vice-presidential candidate. The truth was that this person represented people everywhere that almost instantly fell in love with Palin. Women everywhere were switching there democratic vote, because there was now a woman they can stand behind.
Yet I was neither impressed nor inspired by this woman and quite honestly I was appalled by her comparison of a Hockey Mom and a bulldog. I almost start to compare Palin to Hilary Clinton whom has stamina and ambition as a leader and with an actual political agenda Hilary properly represented women everywhere, yet on the other hand Palin almost gives me the feel of being the covergirl for the Republican party. With her comments on important foreign policy issues and her knowledge on current issues, I almost wouldn’t trust her running the nation.
My rundown is that I rather have Hilary Clinton running the show and representing the hardworking woman with poise and brilliance, than this Hockey Mom that winks at the camera at every opportunity.
Yet I was neither impressed nor inspired by this woman and quite honestly I was appalled by her comparison of a Hockey Mom and a bulldog. I almost start to compare Palin to Hilary Clinton whom has stamina and ambition as a leader and with an actual political agenda Hilary properly represented women everywhere, yet on the other hand Palin almost gives me the feel of being the covergirl for the Republican party. With her comments on important foreign policy issues and her knowledge on current issues, I almost wouldn’t trust her running the nation.
My rundown is that I rather have Hilary Clinton running the show and representing the hardworking woman with poise and brilliance, than this Hockey Mom that winks at the camera at every opportunity.
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